let's take it easy

So everybody (including myself) is fuming over today's PNJA but lemme tell you something fellas, it's done, it's over, it's behind us now so why bother? We cannot do a thing to alter anything so why wasting our energy? I think to myself that tomorrow's gonna be a good day, compostion test, gotta admit that it's my strong point, but still humbly I will approach it tomorrow as there's surprise lurking behind every corner every now and then.

Pumpkin-wise, today was another A M A Z I N G day with my C. and I'm not even going to go into details on this one as it may end up with sheer heart attack or sleepless night. How I dote on you C. ...

I WANT YOU

W.Y.W.H.

Wish you were here with me...

the sweetest of sounds

Woke up this morning to the lovely sound of your soothing voice, out of the blue and straight into the deepest layers of my heart. If there is anything I could wish for now, I wish I woke up listening to your whispering voice on a daily basis and feast my senses on the timbre of your angelic voice.

"Never look for the truth in your Mother's eyes"

Mother's Day Special dedication to all the mothers out there.

No matter how it may be perceived or received, I love you Mum. Even though I'm not even half the man I would like to be.

the one in which tjrael was struck dumb

I was struck dumb this morning when my C. came out in all her glory in an absolutely charming, ethereal, gentle, vanilla-yellow girlish dress which revealed the delicate nuances of her feminine figure. And so bewitched I sat upon the edge of the bed trying to utter any sound but was just left speechless. I couldn't take my eyes off my C. today and wasn't even trying as it was a completely new and exciting experience for me - a transient moment I would like to carve into infinity. My beautiful, breathtaking C.

emotional carouselambra

Days are filled with uncertainty and quandaries, come across them every day. Somedays I overcome them easily, sometimes, like yesterday, I fail painfully. I do not comprehend some of my emotional states and what's worse I can't pinpoint the wellspring of those states. One thing is certain though, by those inexplicable behaviours I tend to hurt people. Especially those who I love the most, like yesterday. There's an explosive mixture of anger, pity, disillusionment and incomprehension in my mind sometimes and I am horrified by it. I don't wanna feel it and don't wanna associate it with the ones I love and I will fight till my last breath to get rid of these appalling states. This I know for sure

Last hours were just pure magic, with My Love by my side, falling asleep holding her near and waking up with her scent in my nostrils. There's something absolutely fabulous in seeing the face of your Beloved One as the first thing you see after waking up. And she's there by m side, secure, calm and trusting. How nice it is to be trusted again. I love doing things with You, walking, talking, having meals, lazily drinking delicious coffee with You and not caring about anything. And then when the moments of doubts approach, You're there to tell me everything is going to be just fine and that You'll be there to support me, come rain or shine You're there. How can I not love You C ?

talk talk talk talk talk

words have far too huge impact on our lives, they alter the reality, are so ambiguous, vague, imprecise. I wish I hadn't said some of them, i wish i had thought twice, i wish i was wiser, had more empathy, understanding and for once in my life just shut my mouth...

i'm sorry

The Count of Tuscany

Can't get rid of this new Dream Theater track from my head, keep on humming it and singing these words:

Could this be the end?
Is this the way I die?
Sitting here alone
No one by my side

I don't understand
I don't feel that I deserve this
What did I do wrong?
I just don't understand
(I just don't understand)

Give me one more chance
And let me please explain
It's all been circumstance
I tell you once again

You took me for a ride
Promising a vast adventure
Next thing that I know
I'm frightened for my life

"Now wait a minute man
That's not how it is
You must be confused
that isn't who I am

Please don't be afraid
I will never try to hurt you
This is how we live, strange although it seems
Please try to forgive(...)

A M A Z I N G !!!

shhh...

I love to watch you sleep next to me,
peacufully,
safely,
securely.
And I just sit in my armchair and watch...

The American Literature Test Day

My head is filled with plots, facts, trivia, useful and useless information, Bradstreet, Irivng, Whitman, Twain, Frost, Hemingway, Fitzgerald dance the eerie dance in my brain, I'll show you you prolific writers !! I'll show you !!

Flooded by Wonderful New Sounds

What a day of amazing (in majority) new releases. While studying hard to my American Literature exam I had an opportunity tyo listen to following new albums :


The Mars Volta - Octahedron



Jordan Rudess - Notes on a Dream



Riverside - Anno Domini High Definition



Nemo - Barbares

9 AM

The most beautiful of all the mornings...

untitled

I wonder where you are tonight

Clayton's Story

...Hats Off...

Puumaja - Meren Kutsu

One more from absolutely impellent Puumaja

Puumaja - Punaiset seinät

My good finnish friend's band has finally made their first video which heralds Puumaja's first full-length album which is called "Meriselityksiä". Out May 27th 2009. Can't wait !

the starting gun

The heavy, pale, leaden sky looks like it's about to crash on my head smashing me to the ground. I can't even go outside to breathe, no time for breathing now, down with my head and toil, drudge, grind. On with the show...

This Yearning

...
and
every
single
day
without
you
seems
like
a
lifetime
of
solitude,
hopelessness,
despair,
breakdown
and
alienation

come
back
to
me
now
!!!

Frank Zappa's THE BLACK PAGE

A M A Z I N G !! !! !!
performace of one of the most complex compositions written by brilliant Frank Zappa

Dream Theater - A Rite Of Passage (from 2009 "Black Clouds and Silver Linings")

Dangervisit

So much writing on the walls, can you read it all
Can you see through the haze when the writing's small?
Can you read what it means does it make any sense?
'Cause it's all dollar bills and pounds and pence
Telling you what to do and what pills to take
When your head's in your hands and your belly aches
Where to go in the world when you need a change
Don't you worry about the bill, that can be arranged.

Make me sad, make me sleep, make me question,

Give me things that can calm this depression

Let me know what to do when my money's spent
Let me know how to smell and to pay the rent
Let me know what to do when my hair is gone
Let me know who to kill when the war is on
There's a woman of your dreams and she's all on the phone
Better send her a text when you're on your own

Make me sad, make me sleep, make me question,

Give me things that can calm this depression

So much writing on the walls

Feel, just obey !


You know that they can't harm you.
You know that they can't hurt you.
Don't want their dreams to waste me.
Don't want their dreams to save me.

High rises
Killing lows

Just a thought

Days filled with the feeling of being moved, being calm and in the right place. Seems a bit odd since I've got sooo much to do and in fact one deadline chases another one. So much to do and so little time but yet "everything seems to be done while you're at it" as was neatly phrased yesterday by C. Time passes in between towns, in between beds, in between being complete and utter yearning. Two weeks left and the college adventure will be over, it seems that it was couple months ago when we first had met and soon we'll have to say goodbye, with some people for good, with other just for now. Kinda sad. I'm optimistic, filled with hope and expectations though pretty enraged with myself at times 'cause I spend soo much time on doing nothing and so much there is to do. Well I gotta look for something to boost my motivation. Can't wait for tonight.Can't stop thinking about yesterday.